I really have to hand it to working mothers. I honestly don’t know how you do it and I give you all mad props.
I am going to school full time this semester, and three of my classes are on campus while two are online. Prior to attending a university, I graduated from a community college with two associates degrees (I double majored and got an AAS and an AA) but it was entirely online. I hadn’t been able to find an online college that wasn’t insanely expensive, because I’m sorry, $500 a credit hour is INSANITY. I decided to attend the local state university here because NC tuition is cheap and the kids were all old enough to be in school or daycare.
Even though I am only in class 11 actual hours a week, I am barely keeping my head above water. Ellie has been sick more in the past month of daycare than she has ever been in her 20 months of life. I have had to miss several classes already and I know I am going to be toeing the line when it comes to my attendance. My house is an absolute mess and I forget half of my appointments that I need to attend because I am so worried about what assignments are due and when.
I feel a little selfish, though. I absolutely love school. I love to learn. I am the total nerd that sits in class and stares in awe at the slides in Renaissance to Modern Art, and I actually like going to my math lab and getting ahead on my homework. That is just the type of person that I am. But honestly, how can I let my family suffer? I know that I am setting a good example for them by going to school and graduating with a bachelor’s degree, but if it means that I am not being a good mom, then is it worth it?
I am not saying that if you work then you are a terrible parent. On the contrary, I think it sets an awesome example for your children and shows how strong and dedicated you are. I think my problem is that I don’t know how to find the balance I am not saying that my husband doesn’t support me, because he definitely does, but let’s face it, when someone has to miss due to a sick kid, it definitely isn’t the parent who is making the money.
I am going to try my darndest to finish this semester with a good GPA, but I am not sure if I will be able to do it all again in the fall. Maybe I need to wait until the kids are a little older. Or maybe my destiny is to be a stay at home mom forever. I think now I just need to learn to keep my head above water and swim a little stronger.